Domestic Violence is its own addiction

While DV is often associated with substance abuse, it's not always the case and It is important to recognize DV as its own disease of addiction with a wide array of presentations. This is because similar to what can be expected to occur with any other disease process, addressing just a single symptom of a larger pathophysiological process does not cure the disease, and it does not prevent other expressions of the disease from recurring.  Victims of any disease process, such as those victim to the disease of diabetes, experience a greater severity of untoward effects when an undiagnosed condition is left untreated. Additionally, victims of any untreated disease process experience a greater probability of untoward long term complications.  In the case of diabetes, this can manifest in renal insufficiency, neuropathy, poor circulation especially to the distal extremities resulting in gangrene, and poor wound healing after surgery.  If DV were to be recognized as a disease, this would allow for earlier detection rates of DV, the ability to more effectively target treatment at the distinct pathophysiology of the disease of DV, which is separate and distinct from the treatment of a similar and sometimes overlapping diseases such as alcoholism, gambling addiction, or substance abuse/addiction.

According to Harvard Health Publications, Addictive drugs and behaviors create a shortcut to reward by sending a flood of dopamine to the nucleus accumbens. NIDA published that when the addictive substances (or behaviors) are abused, they can stimulate 2-10 times more dopamine to be released than things like food or sex may. This flood of dopamine causes a burst of euphoria, or the high, that occurs when the brain is entrenched in addictive behaviors. It can be highly pleasurable, and individuals then start repeating these addictive behaviors. The longer we engage in addictive behaviors, the more entrenched we become in the addiction and the harder it is to break the cycle.

Because dopamine also affects the part of the brain responsible for judgement, people trapped in this overstimulated reward pathway also display distorted thinking-manifested by a series of bad decisions. This is the cycle of addiction.

Any habit or external chemical that we allow into our body repeatedly can be tolerated a certain number of times without crossing the threshold into addiction. Developing an allergy is a great example of this. In Morgan & Mikhail, it is stated that allergies to anesthesia are a result of repeated contact and administration. For example, you may not have any reactions the first few times you go under anesthesia, but by the time you get to your 13th or 14's surgery, expect some complications even if the same drugs are administered. When it comes to addiction, because the dopamine reward pathway is activated, it's only a matter of time before repeated behaviors that do not serve us reach that level of severity.

The purpose of therapy is not to condition yourself to tolerate a blatant disregard of your human rights. The purpose of therapy is to identify maladaptive or self destructive behavioral patterns causing discord in your life experience, try to identify the root cause of these maladaptive behavioral patterns, and then for you as an individual to make the decision as to whether or not the amount of adaptation and accommodation and self-sacrifice to stop engaging in the destructive behavior is worth the sacrificing of being a part of a certain community with a set standard of social conduct. Ultimately, it’s always in your best interest to let go of what does not serve you.

When going to therapy as an adult, it’s easier to appreciate that we do have a choice in the matter, and that it’s our decision to choose to let go of the situation that is generating the destructive behavioral patterns or to make the effort to change our behavior. 

When you go to therapy as a child, it’s more tricky because children are financially and physically dependent on their parents and therefore the culture, demands, and expectations of their parents-and in order to have their basic needs met they often are forced to adapt.

The dominant in the relationship will have an unhealthy desire to provide financially or to provide support in an area of a person's life where they are lacking. A teacher dating his student is an example of this scenario. Another example is an overbearing and narcissistic parent and submissive child. The submissive in the relationship will have an addiction to a desire to please.

Identify and break free from the negative thought patterns that are holding you back with 50 Shades of Domestic Violence: Recognizing Patterns of Abuse's expert guidance.